Name Game
by BeachBum84
Summary: [OneShot] House is bored. So, he sings and ponders names.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

"Cameron, Cameron, Bo Bameron, Banana Fanana Fo Fameron. Me Mi Mo Mameron. Cameron!" House sang as he poured coffee for himself.

"That's a little annoying." Cameron said as she sorted through the mail.

"Chase, Chase, Bo Base, Banana Fanana Fo Fase, Me Mi Mo Mase. Chase!"

"Using someone else's name doesn't make it less annoying." Cameron muttered.

House sighed and tapped his cane loudly on the floor. He walked over to Foreman who was reading a medical journal. He peered over Foreman's shoulder.

"Foreman, Foreman, Bo Boreman, Banana Fanana Fo Foreman, Me Mi Mo Moremon. Foreman!"

Foreman sighed and threw the journal on the table. "Go bother someone else!" He exclaimed.

"You guys sure are cranky today! It's that time of the month, isn't it? You guys spend too much time together, your cycles are in sync." House commented as he sat down.

Foreman opened his mouth to say something but House spoke first. "Whatever. I'm done. I ran out of names. Well, unless I use my name, but how childish would that be?"

Wilson walked in the room. Cameron glared at him and then glared at House. "Don't!" She warned.

Wilson looked confused. "I was just bringing him some coffee. Is he hyperactive? Do we have to ban his caffeine intake?" He joked. He noticed that House already had coffee. "Guess, I made the trip for nothing."

House pushed aside his coffee mug and took a cup of coffee from Wilson. "Don't be silly. I choose this over the crap we have here any day. Who's turn was it today, anyway? it sucks!"

"Chase made it." Foreman said.

"Chase, remind me again why I hired you. It definately wasn't your coffee making abilities." House said. Wilson sat down. Chase remained focused on the journal that he was reading. House shrugged his shoulders and went back to drinking his coffee.

House kept glancing at Chase while pretending to listen to Wilson. Chase was being unusally quiet. He thought he heard humming coming from Chase. He smiled when he realized Chase was humming the name game song. House picked up his cane and used the handle to pull down the journal chase was focused on.

"Hey!" Chase exclaimed. The page he was reading was face up on the table. Instead of the page being filled with text or a cool diagram, it was covered with a picture of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

"Ah Ha! Reading up on Brangelina!" House exclaimed.

Chase blushed slightly. "How'd you know?"

"You can't be reading a serious medical article while humming a children's song. Besides, you didn't even try to defend yourself when we insulted your coffee." House stated.

Foreman rolled his eyes, looking slightly annoyed and Cameron was holding back a giggle. Chase just looked embarrassed as he tried to retrieve his magazine which had been well hidden until House exposed him.

"No, this is mine now." House said, taking the magazine. Chase was left with the journal he had been using for cover.

House flipped through the magazine. "At what point in the relationship is it appropriate to call yourselves by a single name?"

"I'm glad you are comfortable enough with our friendship that you don't feel the urge to acknowledge that I was telling a story." Wilson said.

"Yeah, Yeah. Dying kids. Boo Hoo. This is important." House said.

"I don't think they go around referring to themselves as Brangelina." Foreman commented.

"Who do you think comes up with it? Does a single person get credit for it or do a bunch of media people get together and have a vote on what to call a couple?" House asked.

"One person. No one gets credit. It just sort of catches." Cameron commented.

House looked at her. "I'm just guessing..." Cameron said.

House nodded. "If I was in a relationship and we had to be refered to as a single entity. I would want to pick our name."

"What would you call yourself?" Chase asked.

House sighed and rolled his eyes. "It would depend on my partner. Duh."

Wilson shook his head. "You are actually putting thought into this right now, aren't you?"

"I want to be prepared." House looked thoughtful. "Hacy? Stouse? Those sound kinda dumb. Good thing I broke up with Stacy."

"Yes, that's the reason. Because you're combined name sounded dumb..." Wilson muttered.

House ignored him and continued. "Hameron?"

Cameron looked up curiously.

"Don't get excited. I'm just planning. I want to be prepared. That's all." House said. Cameron tried not to look disappointed as she rolled her eyes.

House looked at Chase. "Hase?"

Chase sighed. "I'm not gay."

"I'm not either. I'm just experimenting." House said with a smirk. He turned to Foreman. "Horeman?"

Foreman didn't bother to look up from his journal. "That sounds wrong on many levels. Besides, replacing the first letter with 'H' isn't that creative."

"And you want us to be called Fouse? How dumb is that?" House commented before turning to Wilson. "I declare us: Hilson."

Wilson made a face. "Why can't my name be first? How 'bout Wouse?"

House shook his head. "I declared Hilson!"

"Why not Games?" Wilson asked.

House looked amused. "Games?"

"Gallison." Cameron said quietly.

"Stop hitting on me!" House said.

"Why are you the only one allowed to make up names? It's not all about you. What about Cilson? Or Camerase? Or Camerman?"

"I like Camerase." Chase said.

Cameron rolled her eyes. Chase shrugged his shoulders. "You're the one who said it." He said.

Cuddy appeared in the doorway. "You've got to be kidding me. None of you have a single patient or something better to do than sit around?"

"Chill out, Huddy. I'm working on something important." House said.

"Huddy?" Cuddy repeated.

"House plus Cuddy equal Huddy because someone isn't very creative. Don't ask." Foreman said.

"No, It's because Huddy has a nice ring to it. If I get into a relationship with anyone here, it would have to be Cuddy because Huddy is the only name that I like so far." House commented.

"Never gonna happen. Now get to the clinic." Cuddy said before leaving.

House got up and quickly followed her. "Cuddy. Cuddy. Bo Buddy. Banana Fanana Fo Fuddy. Me Mi Mo Muddy... Cuddy!"

* * *

**A/N: I admit. I was bored when I wrote this. I'm not claiming that this is my best work, but I do hope that you were at least slightly amused by it. :)**


End file.
